It was nearly one and a half year later when I held that distinctly double lines on my pregnancy kit again, staring at it in disbelief. Unlike the reaction of my first pregnancy, this time my senses were pervaded by an uncomfortable premonition of fear. I remembered that dryness in my throat and churning in my stomach, and the very first words I uttered were.. "oh shit." And amusingly ... I called hubby after sending him the photo of my positive pregnancy kit and his first words were almost similar to mine.. "SHITTT....!"
To be honest, my second pregnancy was unplanned. In fact ,the Hubs and I have even talked about stopping at one child, especially after we have maxed out our strength, energy and finance on our firstborn preemie. If one already had a premature birth, there's an increased risk of having another premature baby. At that moment, we still have this phobia of the next one putting us through the same horrendous experience.
After collecting myself together, I tried to look at the positive side. All the while I was rather struggled over my inability to carry my child to full-term. The feeling of being"short-changed" by the birth of my first born preemie. It seems to have robbed me of the experience of a healthy long term pregnancy, and the precious first few hours or days bonding with the baby, the taking of photographs in my ward , or just basking in the glory of our newly-created family.
So I'm guessing God's plan is to compensate me with another chance to achieve the experience that I once thought I could have...and that's unless my next one managed to stay comfy in my womb for at least 37 weeks.
There were a lot of precautions to take, such as the increased multiple times of checkups at the gynae's and extra medication prescribed to strengthen my cervix. Once I was near the end of my second trimester, I was put to full bed-rest at home. My mom and hubby succeeded in fattening me as they were determined to see a good number for the second baby weight this time. I was held captive like a goose, being forced feed up to 5 times a day. Without any exercise (I was even forbid to climb the stairs at home.) and the crazy intake of their so-call nutritious food, my weight rapidly increased like nobody's business. I gained a total of 27 kgs for this pregnancy and continued to gain more even during my confinement period
(I shall talk more on my weight lost transformation in another post.)
Fortunately, my second child managed to reached full-term, hitting 38 weeks and 3 days. This time I was determined to achieve a natural birth delivery, despite my gynae's disapproval though. In the end, BabyK was smoothly delivered naturally with epidural within 8 hours, and achieved a good weight of 3.3kg. Most importantly, I witnessed his first cry , I cuddled him, I kissed his cheeks, I latched him for breastfeeding...all these immediately right after his birth. It seems that I've finally gotten a psychological closure. Now, I've got a pleasant birth story to share too.
(The first meeting of Rboy and his baby brother.)
My second boy is named Kyrian, which is the greek word for Lord. In truth, I goggled the name Kyrian and the first photo that caught my attention was this freaking yandao model with the name Kyrian. And that confirm my decision to name my second boy, Kyrian.
BabyK has an entirely opposite personality from his older brother. He is much more active and alert, and was easily enchanted and humoured by the things around him. Yes, he giggles all the time, especially when interacting with Rboy.
BabyK was also a very vocal baby and his first few comprehensible words were at 7 months old. Before he turns two, he can speak in clear short sentence like , "Hello, my name is Kyrian. I am 2 years old.", and my all time favourite phrase, "Mummy, didi love love you."
At times my darling babyK can be quite handful, but overall he is really an affectionate snuggly little baby who loves to throw you lots of surprise cuddles and kisses.
Furthermore, he is my favourite photography model for showcasing our kids' OOTD (outfit of the day).
I've to shamelessly say that my son is such a charmer~~~~~
He loves dressing up, enjoys posing, takes instructions very well, loves the camera and the camera loves him haha!
So it didn't take long to make the decision to sign him up for modelling this year, hopefully to gain more exposure and most importantly, doing what he is good at. We are really looking forward for his first casting!
(His modelling portfolio shoot at 22 months old)
Lastly, I shall end this blog entry with a photo of my two precious sunshines in my life. This photo is taken last year from BabyK's one year old outdoor photo-shoot session.
Embarking on this journey of motherhood is full of unforeseen challenges but trust me, it is tough only at the best of times. The payoff can be fantastic and so surprisingly awesome that it helps keep my momentum going on, especially during physically taxing and emotionally draining days.
Moreover, there is nothing that leaves me more in awe than witnessing my sunshine boys present me with new wonders every single day. I treasure each and every moment with my heart overflowing with gratitude. Well, I hope this blog will touch the hearts of other moms who share the same thoughts and know that we are all on the same boat. As well as prospective moms-to-be who are looking forward to embark on this wonderful journey, also the curious passer-by who happen to find motherhood astonishing and fascinating, and needs more convincing haha.
Yes, it is life's blessing, to be a mother, so just enjoy it to the fullest.